Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Hippo 2.0
It's the latest in urban and suburban home defense and there is absolutely nothing like it on the market today.

Frequently Asked Questions

I have a family. Is Hippo 2.0 safe enough to keep around small children?
We understand that keeping families safe is one of the primary reasons why people are interested in Hippo 2.0. We have gone to great lengths to ensure that our product meets and exceeds the strictest safety standards. Our system of genetic engineering and full complement of optional mechanical controls make our product less of a liability than more common home security measures such as guard dogs or firearms.

How does Hippo 2.0 differ from Hippo 1.0?
While Hippo 1.0 was the inspiration for our exciting new product, it is simply too large and unpredictable to be suitable for home use. During our research we decided that the design could be improved upon through careful genetic manipulation. Hippo 2.0 is smaller, smarter and more versatile than its more familiar counterpart.

Do you have to have a moat to use Hippo 2.0?
While Hippo 2.0 has been optimized for moat installations for the ultimate in home security, we realize that this is not a practical solution for many homeowners. That is why we engineered Hippo 2.0 to be backwards compatible with more common suburban pool environments. We have even taken it one step further by building in features that make it an effective resource for keeping your pool clean (Remora™.)

Is Hippo 2.0 designed exclusively for home security and defense?
Our product is no one-trick hippo, that’s for sure. While designed first and foremost for home defense, Hippo 2.0 capably fulfills the role of a domesticated animal by providing safe entertainment for people of any age. It is possible to teach Hippo 2.0 to fetch, catch, shake hands, and more. Optional upgrades are available that allow Hippo 2.0 to rescue previously identified friends and family from drowning, adding a significant level of poolside safety.

Will Hippo 2.0 fit through the doorways in my house?
Yes! Our product is designed to fit comfortably through any standard seven-foot doorway. There is little need for structural changes to your home if you plan to limit Hippo 2.0 to ground floor usage. Some homeowners may want to get a free home evaluation from one of the trained professionals in our distribution network to determine whether or not their home is structurally capable of handling Hippo 2.0 in multi-level structures.

Will Hippo 2.0 attack friends who come to visit?
Any person who has not been Introduced© to Hippo 2.0 is considered a potential threat. The Introduction Process takes only a few seconds and is comprehensively explained in the Hippo 2.0 Users Manual. We have also built in an Immediate Override System™ (IOS) designed for use when you have uninvited guests.

How is Hippo 2.0 better than traditional home security measures like guard dogs or firearms?
We have successfully engineered a product that is not only more versatile than today’s most common home defense methods; it’s safer. Hippo 2.0 has been tested to be safe and predictable enough to be used around children. Easy training makes introducing new people to Hippo 2.0 simple and our Immediate Override System™ (IOS) helps ensure you never end up having an uninvited guest scaling a tree to safety.

Will I have to house train Hippo 2.0?
While Hippo 2.0 is certainly small enough and smart enough to be allowed into your home for brief periods, we do not recommend you leave your Hippo 2.0 indoors for any significant duration.

Is Hippo 2.0 expensive to maintain?
We have engineered a great deal of efficiency into Hippo 2,0. Despite it’s larger size, it will consume about as much food as a small rabbit. Otherwise, you can expect veterinary bills similar to what you would incur with any other household pet.

Does Hippo 2.0 come with a warranty?
Because Hippo 2.0 is still a product of nature, it is impossible to offer a warranty on parts and labor. It is for this reason that we offer a 5-year replacement guarantee free of charge. We also have optional extensions to 7, 10 and 15-year plans that are available for a moderate fee.

Will a Hippo 2.0 installation help lower the rates for my homeowner’s insurance?
While Hippo 2.0 has been tested and approved by many of the nation’s leading insurance companies, each company is different. We suggest speaking with your insurance agent to find out if Hippo 2.0 can help lower your rates.

Is there anyone who can attest to the overall effectiveness of Hippo 2.0?
No one wants to entrust the safety of their homes and family to an untested and unproven device. Check out our testimonials page to see what some of our satisfied customers have to say about Hippo 2.0.

Testimonials are forthcoming


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