False Advertising
While I was sipping my, um, afternoon coffee and reading my new book today I saw a sign on the neighboring Wendy's restaurant promoting their Homestyle Chicken Strips. The image was obviously crafted by a gifted food designer: golden brown, lovingly placed next to the available dipping sauces. Nice little Photoshop glow around the food with the following tag:

Pure Chicken Satisfaction

From this we can reasonably assume one of the following:

A) Wendy's marketing crew is full of shit and there are actually a lot of chickens out there who are pretty pissed off over the whole situation.

-or-

B) Wendy's has found an enclave of seriously unhappy chickens that enjoy, and feel they deserve, this kind of abuse.

The omnipresence of the Foster Imposters on the California airwaves justs helps to muddy the situation.

Just who are these enigmatic chickens and what kind of sick and twisted darkness lurks behind their happy clucking?